he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
