I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
