i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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