ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
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If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
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I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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