there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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