I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
