The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
