Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
