No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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