She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize