Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
