Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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