dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
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It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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