Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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