Can Purell be used as lube?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
