feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
