its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
