I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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