I think I died a long time ago.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
