do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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