We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
