Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
