So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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