Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
