you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
