first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
