you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize