still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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