So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
