Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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