I like my sex mixed with concussions.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
