Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
