if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Rumble strips road head = magical
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
