i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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