Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
