Have you finally orgasmed yet?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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