remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
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I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
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Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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