Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Green mimosas i think yes
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
