I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
