I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
