3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
