How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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