So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
