me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
