Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
