hotel room ftw
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize