yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
