he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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