I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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