He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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