i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
