I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
