Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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