As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
