no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
