Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
