your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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