I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
