For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
