look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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