omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
