Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
