i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
