i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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