Where is the hickey?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
operation have a gay friend backfired
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
