yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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