Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
