I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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