so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
